Gary Tovar Interivew 1980s

Pounding my skull with more bands from the past and all the nostalgia… I wonder if it will go on forever… maybe so. Gary has a history that is to be respected. He is one of them iconoclasts!!

Gary and I have had our confrontations but he always knew, and knows, that I love the bands like he does. He really loves music. While looking through an old issue of Flipside Fanzine number 42 with Argent Orange on the cover, I found an interview with Gary. It is from back in the day when punk rock was tight, unknown, growing and fun as hell. I never had as much fun as back stage at a GOLDENVOICE show. I was an innocent babe too. Rolling away from the punches of big man henry rollins or meeting new fans with their new fanzines; who had better ideas then he ever had!!

I think some of us old punks tend to forget how symbiotic the scene was then. We all worked together and supported and grew a scene together. We should try to be content with the imperfections of the past, and remember the experiences more. It was fun being young, wild and out of control. Yes some of us documented it. We were not as dumb as you may think!! I guess I will still keep squeezing them out until I kick the bucket as well!! So there!!

I will never forget the TODD RUNDGREN show… when we danced and sang each song togther… punks, skins and new wavers !

gary 1 001

Flipside Fanzine Number 42 1980s punk Rock Scene


Page two of Gary Tovar Interview. FS 42

Attribution to the Dead and their whispers of life !

Hudley color sketch of flowers

Hudley Art

 Having a romp with your man the night before, and driving on a foggy morning the next day while listening to Jazz; takes orgasm to a whole new level!!

Time can be very strategic!! Life more precious as loved ones fade into the dark unknown. Courting the underworld and also that dark place of the analytical mind, I have found insight into something more. This time of the year screams this depth, scratching at my emotions while confronting me with nothing, a non-caring pain. This time of the year as dusk approaches even the smile of my child, the purring of cats seem to fade into a realm existential of the unreal and profound.
I am about to read The Seven Sermons to the Dead by Carl Jung~ attribution to Basilides. I have prepared for my journey for months with complementary books. I recently received The Red Book as a gift and this will add to my reflective study.

The Apostle said, ‘I lived without a law once,’ that is, before I came into this body, I lived in such a form of body as was not under a law, that of a beast namely, or a bird.[15]

My parents never really looked at death though they are now dead. My best and longest time friend… she too is gone from this life. So as I start this reading I hope to reflect as sermons to them as well !!
The day I began this journey of The Seven Sermons I sat at the pool side where son was swimming with his swim team. Two trees about twelve feet tall were before me. I sat comfortably. The noises were overwhelming. Children crying and water splashing as women next to me talked about their problems. I then looked at the two trees. On every branch was a small bird; golden and chirping. Singing together and jumping. Everything else faded away but what I was viewing. I thought to myself,
“How can this be?”
One bird jumped down dancing towards me. Slowly, systematically and very consciously the bird came close to my foot and then turned around back up the tree. I then looked down for a second, thinking to take a picture. When I looked back the trees were empty.
I thought,
“How did so many birds fly away without a movement or sound?”
I now ask a question,
“How can so many die without a movement or sound’?”



Hudley in the kitchen with a continuity of fresh fruit wisdom !!

My red pants with zippers on each leg fit!! It is kale, collard greens and less fat; more garlic, dandelion tea and walks that are slowly giving me a  femme fatale? I say yes! Today it is Kale with garlic, grape seed oil, salt & pepper, sweet rice vinegar, and pomegranate seeds.

Smells good, tastes good and is good ! An ancient aliens meal for the brave new world! Remarkable!

When I opened the fruit I was sprayed with a soft tangy juice of memories! Some of the memories are ancient, and some from my youth!! Today it is blended with cold air and a smell of the earth outside!! Joy rests and shares a place in my heart this morning!!



SO easy and so good for you…tasty too!!

go paint a pomegranate

Whether Ishtar, Persephone, ancient Eleusinian Mysteries, Aphrodite, Hera or Mary mother of Christ, to name a few Goddesses and their symbolic mysteries, the pomegranate is always there.

While talking at the current opening reception of “Plan B” presented by The Haggus Society. Curator Terri Lloyd, artist Liz Huston and I were talking about the round bumpy red pomegranate. A simple fruit that symbolizes deep mysteries handed down through the centuries. Terri mentioned that it represents transformation. I was touched by this conversation. My conversation at the Haggus exhibit made me know that I am not alone with my insight and intuitive understanding. Maybe this is what initiation is all about ??

I remember years  back when I had a similar conversation with a religious studies professor at California State University Northridge. I made the connection between the ancient symbol of this fruit, Goddesses and Mary. My professor said that it was highly symbolic. He told me that there is, most likely, no relativity. I was hurt!

Sandro Botticelli marvelous painting shows Mary and child. She is holding a pomegranate too.



As a religious studies major I’ve come to see that cultures and religions have the same connections. Sometimes as simple as a piece of fruit. This is before TV shows like Ancient Aliens, or before the fast internet oracle ;our modern-day computers!! Even before the  massive indulgence in hand-held devices that we use for research.

The pomegranate was thrown around here and there over centuries, always showing up in different places…art, literature and science!!

One morning I found a copy of the Botticelli painting in the trash. It was in a large religious calendar which included twelve paintings of Mary. I was walking son to elementary school when we saw it leaning on someone’s trash can. It was still in good shape. It also was a year old, 1998. I kept the calendar.

Riding the bus from Van Nuys to CSUN, I was often filled with these types of insights. The late 1990s did not give me the opportunity to bring them forth as I am doing now. I am happy about this!!

So go eat one. It may tell you something? Dissect it. Or better yet go paint a pomegranate! Hold a hand full of the seeds and tell me what you think??

Pushing the envelope !!


A sturdy flower. By Hudley

Late Evening October 11, 2014.

“By giving death to yourself as Mother, you claimed all of yourself. It is time to share that vision, to name yourself publicly, Crone, woman of wholeness…” Susun S. Weed


The car moved fast through the freeway traffic. My foot to the pedal, the car swiftly changed lanes. Rays of light ricocheted off my rear-view mirror like bullets. Alone on the freeway interchange, my mind focused on where I came from, and where I was going to. Alone in the dark night, walking dark streets and meeting new friends. Engaging in risk taking and it’s known vulnerabilities often ignored by friends. Mom would have never done this!

Of all the times I’ve taken risks in the past, supporting and promoting bands, tonight is one of the most fulfilling for me. These older women engaged in risk taking, promoting their art; these women who worked and helped others… now they stop…now they pivot and move into a new world of their own passions.

“I am struck by the fact that more than 50 million women will have achieved menopause by 2013~ Susun S. Weed

I tip-toed around the Haggus Society for a long time. Observing with a turned face, as most praying mantes do. As I listened intuitively to what images came forth, what inspirations spoke to me?

“We believe we have something unlike other art collectives-focusing our support on multifaceted older women who are activists, thinkers, and creative risk takers. Pushing the envelope is what we do for exercise.” ~ The Haggus Society

Yes! After tears and laughter I realize…I know I must contribute. After breaking free, finally, from the repressive underworld of a shattered chrysalis, I reach my hands out from side to side. Wide, strong, and ready to embrace something new. I am reaching past the often pretentious membranes of other art collectives. Joy! I am participating in something meaningful and current. It is alive and growing !! Besides…


“Pushing the envelope is what we do for exercise.”


“Plan B” Haggus Society opening reception as artists mingle. October 11th 2014.


Arts and Culture in the Northeast of Los Angeles


I am a driving wanker.

Someone who claims to be of higher intelligence than others, understands the finer thing in life, and generally deems themself a higher being than most others; they often refer to the ‘lesser beings’ as peasant or philistines. In simple terms, snobs are wankers.

Dick Powell has a nice turned up nose!

I saw a film Noir the other night. It was with Dick Powell. He was real mad. He picked a guy up and slapped his face, back and forth & back and forth. Then he put him down. The scene was perfect!!

“Ya know what I mean?”

When it comes to people driving their vehicles I would apply this perfection !! I would take it further. My madness after seeing bad driving and those that lack common car intelligence and after pulling the fool our of their car, picking them up, slapping them back and forth & back and forth; I would then take their car keys and toss the fucking keys. Somewhere where no one could find them. With my nose in the air!!

Enduring the riptide of unaware and inconsiderate assholes in their cars is my ambition for correctness.  I bitch about it all the time on my blog too. I am considering taking a job as a Parking Enforcer. Using the law and my genius would make my manifesto complete. No more yelling and using my finger. My black sharpie pen in the air writing tickets is my call to greatness!!

I know the game and I am one of the best drivers !! Ever !!

October Days of the Dead with mini historic interview with Pat Fear (RIP) of White Flag. TAPE SIX


Records to go in Whittier California

“What’s changed?”

Has saying “FUCK in front of your mom*” turned to shooting your mom down and are “the terrorists” now our own young men? This is what has changed mr jello biafra!

“It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen.”
― George Orwell1984

It was a brave new world…1984. Years later it is worse …and as I write this on the eve of, 6 days before, December 22, 2012…I think what a terrible year it has been for our children. Yet, from so many years ago this music seems as relevant today as it did then. It is saying something strange and uncanny to us now.

Antenna up I am listening to the new music but I am not caring as much as in my youthful days.

When people die life goes on, when an individual stops listening to new and up coming music…the music goes on.  This is the continuity of punk rock, new and underground music. This motif is and can be applied upon any underground scene. Back in 1984 it was tight, refreshing and crazy out of control… and this tape captures it.

This tape balances in some fun …lots. We all can use the humor to slap the sober out of our disbelief. Yes, finally the interview with Pat Fear of White Flag (some musical history humor)…also the Charged GBH mini interview and live Dead Kennedys from the Olympic Auditorium~ via Flipside Fanzine  live videos…

oh happy birthday Penelope Houston !!!! Today… Dec/17/2012

…another ironic touch down from the past to the present with Penelope Houston of the Avengers… a thread that pulls…listen to this tape and it will give you the chills!!

“The greater a man’s talents, the greater his power to lead astray. It is better that one should suffer than that many should be corrupted. Consider the matter dispassionately, Mr. Foster, and you will see that no offense is so heinous as unorthodoxy of behavior. Murder kills only the individual-and, after all, what is an individual?” – Aldous Huxley, Brave New World, Ch. 10

The Vandals song Anarchy burger. “FUCK in front of your mom”, Dead Kennedys  “What’s changed” and “the terrorists”… direst quotes from songs and bands… this is my source of  referencing.. OK!!

KFJC Free Flipside Fanzine Radio Hosted by Hudley Flipside 1984


Tell Us the Truth

Sham 69 are playing around. Shows with good and bad reviews. As though my heart does not sense the beating heart of another comrade, from my youthful rebellion, who touches the soil of the land. Dancing around and around in my room like Rumpelstiltskin around a fire singing these simple words;
“They don’t understand no they don’t understand
They don’t wanna understand…”

These are my first dancing memories of punk rock. As I spiraled into the heart of it… I also spiraled out. Seeing with peripheral vision the shadows of days gone by, I am often pulled again into this guilty, responsibility of a musical addition.
As a succubus that pulls at my firmer soul, I pull it off. I hold by conscience, my individual power and resist this. Jumping into the anger of youthful rebellion. I am not her anymore. Reflective and mature and proud… I can take it. Nothing to prove or take with me…but friendship. No affirmation of great things to hold on to. As the rogue wave of darkness envelops those we love in death. So too the scene that once was is slowly taken away by this same darkness. Happy for the boys in the band that linger on…for now!! “Everyone keeps telling me I’m gonna be free
We all know we’ll never be free.”

The waxing of the first full moon of Autumn

Owl Autumn comes this way... by Holly

Autumn Owl of the West By Hudley.

Every ritual comes forth out of the heat of inspiration! It echoes over the years and amplifies through nature and loved ones; some living and some dead! Does ritual get boring? Yes it can! Youngest son told me he had a surprise for me! I waited! He initiated an echo, a song again of memories, goals and skill!

He played the drumming sequence to Charged GBH’s Lycanthropy! He says he is still working on the base drum to the song!

It is a ritual of mine since the first time I first heard the song….about 34 years now!!

And so this little boring ritual of mine of playing the song Lycanthropy every Autumn amplifies with the full moon as a gift! To the she-wolf from her son!

“Plan B” Art Exhibit


Sunflower Soul

I am participating and presenting for purchase,  four watercolor paintings:

Haggus Society Art Exhibit “Plan B”

October 1 – December 30, 2014

Opening Reception October 11

6 – 9 PM

5683 York Blvd, Los Angeles, CA 90042

1. Cronemantis


Life, death and rebirth is what the Praying Mantis teaches me. We have formed a relationship over the years. Each year in my garden the many small perfectly formed baby mantis come to my garden each spring. The mantis matures through the summer months. In August the big golden green mama mantis lays her egg sack. Then she dies. The continuity of life comes forth again next spring. In this watercolor painting I capture the essence of Cronemantis’s charm and beauty. She shows off her wings in the glow of moon phases within her flower garden.

2. Sunflower Soul

The sunflower symbolically represents the soul or solar plexus. The harvest time of experience and adventure. Pomegranates balance out this watercolor painting with the memories of youth and fun at the end of summer. Heading to the hill to pull the fruit from the trees to eat the jeweled sweets.

3. Praying Mantis Mandala

Praying Mantis Mandala

The colors in this watercolor painting blends colors of flowers and the Praying Mantis. This symbolizes my reverence for nature.

4. Baubo Protagonist

BAUBO PROTAGONSIT by Hudley FLipside 7 20 2014

Baubo’s myth and archetypal archaic knowledge is symbolically shared in this cartoon magazine cover. A new twist on Flower Power. When Demeter lost her daughter Persephone to the underworld she is deep in grief. It is Demeter’s maid servant that pulls up her skirt exposing herself. Naked below, Baubo, made Demeter laugh. Baubo Protagonist transforms! As a woman, as a flower pollinating humanity with the thoughts of equality and love. Men are transformed by her mighty power!! She is awesome glorious in her nakedness! Lampoonery!! A Flopside Comic production.

Participating Artists

Karen Joy

Liz Huston

Nina Koumachian Ehlig

Jorge Bernal

and possible Joanne Adams.