Belong Misdirected

We are twisted in soul because soul is by nature and of necessity in a tortuous condition…We might also be less threatened by the grotesque, horrible, and obscene , since, from the imaginal perspective, the bizarre would simple belong. ~ The Myth of Analysis, James Hillman

Hudley The Jester

Hudley The Jester

I am watching an old film Noir way to much. It is Crime of Passion featuring Bararab Starbuck, Sterling Hayden and Raymond Burr. Each time I watch it I study a different part of the film from a different perspective or character. A well written essay Noir. It is basically about passion put in the wrong place or misdirected passion. Maybe it is about ambition misdirected by love. I think this film has a message about the American dream. I like this film because it does keep the sexual passion in the glance of an eye, or the move towards the bedroom. Subtle words that leave the imagination to glow.

The soundtrack does tell you, very well,  what the film is all about. A few twisted souls in this film, YES…. I will most likely watch it again…there is something beautiful waiting to be discovered that I just have not found yet.

Happy autumnal equinox.!!

Coyote Green Stone Story


Humid and hot is just boring to write about. A summer storm down south in Cabo San Lucas Mexico is a monster here in California. This story needs to be told about what my friend Coyote is doing this year. His story is hounding me to be told and so Coyote blows his ideas in the mist or humid drops on my eyelids.

“Coyote how are you and your children handling this hot weather? Are you going to come down and eat our cats and drink water from our drained sprinkler juice?”
“No we have it good this year!”
“In the Santa Monica Mountains we have found a cave that goes down into the underground earth. We have a fresh running spring there. Sheltered and running clear, but darkly moving among green moss, black rocks and falling into indigo pools for drinking.”
“Sounds beautiful!”

“We stay down here during the day. It is cool. We have amethyst crystals, rubies and green stones growing in some of the caves down in the earth.”


“Rubies that seems a little credulous to take in Coyote. I know you are a trickster!!”
“Just tell my story and let others judge for themselves!”
“Did I hear a bit of a growl in you statement Coyote?”
“There are wild places still, is what I am yawning to you. We go out at night to play under the moon and scratch our backs on tree trunks!”!”

Hopefully Coyote is happy now !!

Round-Up 30 minute Maniac.

Mockingly nasty at us, as we stood up in front of the Fonda Theater:  an older man on a bike yelled at us and the punk marquee;
“Ha ha maybe forty years ago.”

Saturday Night 2014

Hollywood, CAL

In line: In front of us were a twenty year old and in back a couple about my age. These types of punk shows bring out the underground punk community. The good and disgusting levels. I said it once and you will read it again. I love it so much my head almost burst last night.

01 – race against time 0:00
02 – knife edge 2:45
03 – lycanthropy 5:00
04 – necrophilia 7:34
05 – sick boy 9:33
06 – state executioner 12:06
07 – dead on arrival 14:39
08 – generals 12:18
09 – freak 19:37
10 – wardogs 22:06
11 – city baby attacked by rats 23:37
12 – City babys revenge 26:13


Smiling Punk woman and son!!

My goal is to dance like a maniac to GBH’s – Leather, Bristles, Studs and Acne (FULL ALBUM). in a years’ time. I use to back in the day some thirty years ago. A challenge to my high cholesterol, border line diabetes and high blood pressure.
Last night I could hardly make it through lycanthropy while fighting off some guy who wanted to continually thrown son up on stage. Even though son liked it. No means no. Up front stage was hot. All were intimated by the solar flares of sun burning in the Fonda Theater. A halo hot sauna of extreme is how it was there. My head almost exploded!! A full house.


The 5th Wave at the Fonda Theater pic by Hudley

The 5th Wave slashed the theater with some questionable lyrics, mixed with saxophone and trombone ska. Excellent! Their fans shining. I was very impressed by the courtesy of the young punk women this evening. A smile was easily shared and that communal feelings of a punk rock community ran in my heart. Strangely different from my generation. I was very impressed indeed. A lot of women in groups and alone gave me hugs for having a son with me. I hope son takes advantage of this when he gets beyond my reach, because now he has a silence about him that I respect.

gbh_300x600The Ads were so satisfying I cried. I love them and again always superimposed images from over the years blended with the reality of now. Fast songs have matured nicely into longer ones. Remarkable!
GBH were wild as they always are. Yet, they were a little rushed. I hear it is an intense tour. Colin’s voice was hoarse yet it was hard to tell over the audience singing their songs. Colin made a stab at the fans in the balcony who were not moving. Who were just sitting there as being lazy and with other critiques? I don’t know why so many young punks came up to me trying to exchange my receipt with theirs so they could sit in the balcony? It all was a bit confusing from my perspective.
Fun and eye-opening show with the usual subtle instilled words for those listening!!

We enjoy our punk rock community…so go screw Mr. Bike man over 50! This 50 something year old loves it still!! Even if you are in better shape… ya just wait until next year.

“…and those of you in the balcony can just rattle your jewelry.” John Lennon ?



imagein the tree



There in the tree

a friend

is always looking!

Turkey turkey

imageHusband told me a story about pain. When he worked out at the Wild Card in West Hollywood he told me that a boxer came up and told him about pain! The boxer was in a match and the referee was counting him down in the middle of an excellent fight!
“But I feel fine.”
In this boxer’s enthusiasm he did not notice the big cut on his head from a punch he received! Blood was everywhere! Then he told husband,
” I told you that I felt fine… The next day I knew what pain was!”

Yesterday I had a fall! For the first few hours after, I felt fine ! In my enthusiasm for life, I had a vision and it said,
“Turkey dinner with all the trimmings !”
The image was large and glorious!

I went to the store and brought it all home!! Within the many chores and projects, that this lazy ass housewife has to do, I realized something! I was in pain! My ‘back, ankle and knee’ were screaming, but my mind knew it had to complete its master vision of a turkey dinner, even though my porcupine needles were leaving an emotional trail via any family member that came by!

After the glory of any great punch out or major fall… Comes pain!

Moral of this post:
Every 4 to 6 hours …Medication dulls pain. Turkey leftovers rule!! Just follow it through…follow it through baby !!

Hard earth asphalt !

I hate humanity sometimes so much! This fellow died at 7:56 this morning! The car that hit it and just left it …I spit on!! I covered the squirrel with leaves! Then a man, who lived in the front house, and I put the wild thing in a bag!! This little creature’s blood sacrificed on the earth!! Hard earth asphalt !

Photo by Hudley of little wild thing…. oh sweet little thing!!

Should we harden our hearts like the machines we drive? These technological moving machines or god like exoskeletons? Don’t ask me why these little fellows play doge-car every morning? We all see them. Little wild animals that don’t matter much. Oh but they do!

Take fucking time to see them and fucking slow down please!

I wish I die such a noble and brutal death. My head ran over, blood squirting everywhere and unable to move…so once more death will come. To the group spirit of squirrels, to the continuity of life that goes on with your family tree: I saw you. I see you and wild as you are…you bless us. Humanity needs your blessings cause we are heartless and cold like our fucking machines!!

This little creature’s blood sacrificed on the earth for us!!




Leather Jacket bye bye !!

This gallery contains 8 photos.

It never was mine, really. This mature Leather Jacket is ready for something different. I moved it around over the last thirty years. I embellished it throughout the early 1980s with the bands that inspired me. Something new is in … Continue reading

Psyche, Eros and Human Beings

From a distance from the earth,

there is unity,

the closer I fly towards her,

there is land and ocean,

animals, cities, cars…lovers and graves.

Minds, hearts and life,

war, innocence lost and continuous grieving

which never ends.

This is not a new experiment,

it is a now action,

holding hands again…

with Psyche, Eros and Human Beings…

Our souls are rich and reaching to us,

our spirits are clean,

watering the cosmos with

hope forever!

Fly out again with a powerful wind,

of ascending wings of imagination!

Here love is never lost !



She’s not there.


If she laid her egg sack, which she most likely has, I have not seen her. Every year she comes and I paint her image, or take her picture. From the pool mesh fence I take her and let her crawl over my shoulders. This year only she indirectly shows herself. A floating exoskeleton on top of clear pool water, or images from friends. Her Praying Mantis tree with the beautiful purple anarchy flowers are as a waterfall and arbor waiting for her return. She will be golden green, large and graceful now. She facing death. I wear her tattoo on my left wrist. The purple anarchy flower. Last night at a local club again she told me that I was at the right time and place. I was meant to be here, even though she was not. The leather jacket with silver studs addressed me. The young man stood in front of me. There splashed upon his back, drawn and painted, is her anarchy flower. Holding up my wrist I knew it to be true. I tapped the young tall man on the shoulder and showed him the image. He acknowledged it and the music blew through and around us. The longitude and latitude the continuity of life. It was all meant to be, I was where I was meant to be…. but she was not there.


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